The Little Dog’s Shame

We’ve all met Little Dog by now and have heard a bit about him. But this story is his biggest, most shameful act yet.

Throughout our time of knowing Little Dog, my husband and I have laughed and cried with his antics. He has lifted his leg on many an inconvenient location and has left puddles for almost everyone to stand in. The toddlers are toilet training, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s just one more mess to clean up. Spoiler alert: he is still the only one peeing on the ground now!

Little Dog is not a chewer of belongings. His worst offense was to raid the bin bag for tasty treats, including a cooked chicken leg that had me googling, “will my dog die from eating a cooked chicken leg?” whilst simultaneously texting my friends in the know to find out more.

Little Dog is not a barker. He does whine at the door and bark on our exit and arrival back home, but to be honest our Big Dog’s barking drowns out all of that. Neither of the dogs are nuisance barkers though and especially not Little Dog, whom you’d think from being a little dog would be more yappy.

Little Dog is well trained under it all. Although cheeky at times and prone to escaping if given the chance he will stay when you tell him to. Which is especially handy when you’re trying to get three kids and yourself out of the door whilst also trying to have Little Dog stay in the house as you leave.

But alas, Little Dog does have one flaw. A flaw that he only exposed to us after firmly embedding himself into our family. A flaw that in my husband’s eyes is unforgivable and should have him permanently banished to the yard. A flaw my friends that has now become Little Dog’s Shame.

We were happily going about our day as a family. It was getting later into the evening and we were starting to talk about dinner plans, kids were getting tired and wanted cuddles and the baby was a little unruly because he’d had just two of his usual three naps and was adamant that he did not need the third.

Our house can understandably get quite chaotic at times and some things do slip by unnoticed at the time. So it was in the midst of a chaotic Sunday afternoon of family time in the lounge room that I became consciously aware of what the dog was doing.

I had unconsciously hear him slurping away and my unconscious self had filed this under the “Little Dog is drinking water” and moved on. But then it dawned on me. Little Dog wasn’t at his water bowl, which was behind me. He was in front of me… at a potty!

One of the toddlers had been sitting on said potty moments before, happily doing her business and eating her dinner as only a two and a half year old can truly get away with doing. Said toddler had not made any requests to have her bottom wiped, so once I saw what the dog was doing, I naively assumed that Little Dog was in fact slurping up pee.

But I was once again deceived by my assumptions. As I rose from the couch and approached the potty, I was filled with the horror that Little Dog had in actual fact been drinking from a potty filled with a disgusting combination of pee and POOP! “Oh god, oh no, oh, oh, oh!!!!” Words escaped me but I eventually stumbled across the words needed to communicate what had occurred to my husband. “The dog was eating SHIT!!!! It wasn’t pee, it was POOP!!!!”

Cue my husband dry retching, as he is indeed the sensitive stomach in our home. Rather inconvenient when you think about how many poops need to be cleaned up after on a daily basis. Cue me starting to laugh manically. I can’t explain what happened in my mind – I just started laughing and I couldn’t stop. It was so truly disgusting and horrible to think about my Little Dog happily slurping away at a potty full pee and poo that I obviously went into some kind of shock. I did manage to snap a photo (which I won’t publish for some level of decency’s sake) and wipe his muzzle with wipes to try to remove any traces from him.

After a minute of laughing so hard that I cried, I picked up the offending potty and went to the toilet to flush the offending items. I personally had a hard time with the series of events leading up to this particular disposal and clean up with holding the contents of my stomach in.

It was then that I decided that we must take a shame photo to forever remember this moment in time. We sat Little Dog down, put a freshly cleaned and disinfected potty beside him and said “Shame!” at him until he looked suitably chastised that we could truly capture the moment for years to come. The girls also, not wanting to be left out, sat down next to a potty and wanted a picture while they said “shame” too. I guess we’ve taught them their word for the day.

The girls followed him around for the rest of the night saying “No eat poo Little Dog” and other such words of toddler wisdom. My husband now starts to dry retch whenever Little Dog licks anything or anyone, but did concede that he was allowed back in the house at least. And I am forever recording this event into our family history for all of the world to see as Little Dog’s Shame.

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